Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Carly Janine Mazur - What is your recurring nightmare?

7"x5" oil and acrylic on board

When I was very young--preschool/kindergarten age--once or twice a month for about two years I would relive a very abstract, but very traumatic recurring nightmare. My dream would begin with me, in bed, the house very dark. I would hear the wind howling outside, making the house creak, the windows shake. In an instant time blurred into an abstract movement, all of the trees surrounding my home would grow in enormous size and then succumb to the wind, collapsing onto the house and demolishing it in a cold tangle of twisted debris and tree limbs. I would then manage to crawl out of what must have been my bed, crying, calling for my mom, but hearing nothing in return, not even the wind. I then became overwhelmed with an intense feeling of guilt, and would eventually give up looking for any signs of life between the mess of what was once my house, bawling "I'm sorry" over and over again until I would be woken up by my mom, who would later on tell me she would wake up hearing me crying "I'm sorry" repeatedly in the middle of the night.

3 comments:

  1. Fantastic illustration and great story. I love the psychology behind dreams in general and what they say about us. You must have felt tremendous guilt about something at that young an age to be having these powerful nightmares.

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  2. Thank you so much! I would love to know what could have possibly made me feel that way myself. Thinking back I have no memories of events that might make me harbor such guilt. Then again maybe it's so horrible I'm suppressing it!

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