Saturday, October 11, 2014
Seems the more important fears have been covered. Mediocrity, failure, death of a loved one, all relevant to me in may personal ways.
But for reals. Little Richard terrified the shit out of me growing up. I know, now, that he is music royalty and a groundbreaking artist. As a child, however, he was the disturbing half-clown with huge teeth and weird eyes, rockin a hairlip creeper stache. I'd be minding my own business watching Full House or PeeWee and this guy would come on and the lights would dim in the room, his caked makeup face would eclipse the television and WOOOO!!!! WOOOOO!!!
Friday, October 10, 2014
charcoal 18 x 24
I grew up in an abusive household for fifteen years and even though I have done a lot of healing, there is a long way to go. Full recovery might never happen, but I am hopeful. Underneath this hope there is a dark and deep fear that I will turn into a monster like my abuser and there is nothing I can do about it.
8 x 10 inches
watercolor, acrylic, and coloured pencil on paper
Nothing scares me as much as the idea of failure. Nothing is more frightening than feeling like you are drowning in the thousands of things you want to do, or the obstacles between you and a successful life. I wanted to depict the sensation of being drowned by your fears.
I know most of you think of me as a hip, fresh, sexy, and cool kind of guy but allow me to shatter the illusion. While most of those things are still very true I must admit that I've always struggled with social anxiety and I fear that I only know how to deal with it through extreme self-deprecation. It also took me half an hour to write this.
But I did meet someone, fall in love, got married, and I adore and love him so much.
The longer we are together, the more I can't see my life without him.
But everyone dies. It's just a matter of who dies first. I would want to die first, because after decades of being with him, the pain of losing him, would be to much to handle.
And so as an adult, I fear he will die first, leaving me alone. Making my childhood fear of dying alone still come true.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Oil on gessoboard, 8"x8"
Through the brace, overprotectiveness, and some hand stretches I learned from a mentor, it got better.... but I'm paranoid now.
|-Bozo and his balloon, graphite pencil color added in photoshop-|
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Though I guess I'm technically an "adult" I still find myself afraid of the dark. It makes me jumpy, anxious, and I find myself walking a little more quickly than usual towards the nearest light.
I decided to double down on this challenge month, and have challenged myself to make not just an illustration a week, but a book a week (albeit probably pretty tiny books). The panels on this one measure 2.25 x 2.25 inches.
When he had lived, he had been a negligible B-List actor who worked with chimps. But when the Republican Establishment resurrected him, he became a mindless threat to the whole world. Deeply discontented to rest peacefully in his fabled shining cemetery on the hill, he is continually revived and trotted out to frighten thinking people everywhere.
And while Colin Clive swore that lightning never struck twice in the same place, his Children of the Damned (Murdoch, Kochs, Palin, Limaugh, Beck, et alia, ad nauseum) terrify me too!
Monday, October 6, 2014
As I awake to greet another normal day, I have no idea that just out of sight treachery is lurking in an infinitesimal and undetectable corner. We both start this day like any other. Myself, blissfully minding my own business. Itself, quietly amassing energy for it's inevitable moment of materialization.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
It's easy to talk about childhood fears. Childhood is full of the unknown and irrational. Things under the bed and very real monsters in our closets. But what about when you grow? Fears come from unexpected places sometimes. Some are rational and some even more irrational now that we should "know better". What are you afraid of?
From October 6-10: we will be making art about our "grown-up" fears. Share yours with us on twitter using #monthoffear.
Check out her Tumblr for some more lovely, spooky art.
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|Samuel Araya - Kwaidan|
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|Chris Alan Peuler|
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See more at his Deviantart Gallery
|Cameron Lewis - Nosferatu|
See more work at his Website
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|Melody Brooke Safken - Quadraped|
See more work on her Website
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More hauntingly beautiful work on her Website
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