Growing up, I struggled to make friends and connect with people. I feared that I would never be able to make lasting friends and relationships. That as I got older, it would get harder, and I would remain isolated, and eventually die alone
But I did meet someone, fall in love, got married, and I adore and love him so much.
The longer we are together, the more I can't see my life without him.
But everyone dies. It's just a matter of who dies first. I would want to die first, because after decades of being with him, the pain of losing him, would be to much to handle.
And so as an adult, I fear he will die first, leaving me alone. Making my childhood fear of dying alone still come true.